MOTHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP

There are just too many daughters admitting to having a difficult relationship with their mother. Too many mothers and daughters feeling misunderstood, invisible and hurt by the emotional distance between them. Too many adolescent girls are reacting with anger and too many new mothers are mourning the lack of connection and support they need from their mothers, for this to be explained away as stemming solely from their unique individual problems and issues. 
Mothers and daughters tend to have “an old argument that runs like a broken record in the background,” Cohen-Sandler said. It becomes their default disagreement. Instead, avoid “bring[ing] up old gripes from the past,” and try to focus on the present and communicate what works best, Even when the relationship is negative or unhealthy, there’s still a powerful bond, she said. One ease into reconnecting with your mother (or daughter) is by setting clear-cut boundaries.If you can create and maintain boundaries with your mother then you can do this with anyone else, such as your boss or partner.
It can be challenging for daughters to build their own identities. Sometimes daughters think that in order to become their own person, they must cut off from their mothers  Or, quite the opposite, they’re so fused that they’re unable to make decisions without her input Both are clearly problematic.But daughters can find their voices and identities within the relationship. We learn how to deal with conflict and negative emotions through our families, “You don’t grow and develop and become your own person void of relationships.”

So how can you strike a balance between staying connected and still being true to yourself? “You can take any position on any powerful issue and hold your own and not become defensive and angry. It’s this balance of connection and separateness,”  mother feel threatened and rejected that their daughters are making different decisions. Daughters think their mother disapprove of them and get defensive. mother and daughters to have major disagreements.” Also, don’t take “something personally that isn’t personal.”
The bottom line is that mother and daughters can be really close but they’re not the same people. [They’re] allowed to have different interests, goals and ways of handling things.” A daughter doesn’t have to change her choices to please her mother; and mother doesn’t have to change her opinions, either.You might say “I feel this way [or] this is how that makes me feel.” Similarly, avoid “sarcasm and facetiousness.” It’s easily misinterpreted, causes hurt feelings and takes you further away from resolution.
It’s common for mothers and daughters to bring someone else into their conflict. A daughter might involve dad because mother is driving her crazy. Mother might involve another child because she feels like she can’t talk to her daughter. Either way, talk directly to the person.
Finally, ask yourself if you’re OK with your relationship and your actions, exchanging looks that conveyed they were both at peace at last.