The brighter the light; the darker the shadow. The deeper the joy; the greater the risk of sorrow. The higher the ambition; the stronger the chance of failure. Look. I'm really not trying to put you off anything... or anyone. I'm just pointing out that life is like that. You know all about downsides. You have encountered plenty in the past. That's all the more reason why you should consider yourself entitled to fully embrace the upside that is on offer to you in your emotional life now. Forget your fear; embrace your dream.
Some people can easily see faraway things yet may be blind to what is under their nose. As with sight, so with insight. Someone may be able to see deeply into your heart yet they won't notice what colour your shoes are. Others are great with the details, but they may miss the meanings. Now, what are you conscious of? This is, a sensitive situation preoccupies you. It's not that you are wrong to give it so much attention but there is more to the picture. Talk to someone who sees things differently. Pool your knowledge.