There is nothing wrong with wanting what you want and no reason not to get it!  you can gain power over your destiny. Who are you really?Child of God!The faster you run, the faster success will run away from you. The more you struggle, the more you will get caught up in a sticky web of complication. Just continue to stay calm and have faith. You are being blessed with the ability to draw towards you all the help that you need.Just look at the brighter side.How many ifs buts and maybes do you want to consider? How many theories and hypotheses are you willing to entertain? If you don't yet feel liberated and elevated, let a little more time pass. It may be that you are only escaping slowly-free now from a commitment that has begun to seem like a ball and chain around your ankles.